I am mother, I am chaos, I am the transmission of life, I and she are one. We are the power of giving life and facing death. Aletheya "Truth revealed " manifested in my belly from the ashes of my father. She has been the transformation of how I related to women. She has made me fall in love with Women, with the power of being a female, with my sense of belonging to the feminine. With her I have continued to work of transformation that motherhood has given me with my first born son Ateyan. After transforming my relationship to the masculine, I embrace Kali in me and all the female archetypes but what has mostly awaken in me is the protector of life : she materialised the spiritual warrior in me.

We are mammal and my female body is where the sacredness of life lies within. She has unveil dormant parts of me, she has unveiled the powerful meridian line of all the female ancestor before us. Her name is a commitment in seeing, listening and speaking the uncomfortable truth. With her by my side, the linage of powerful women continue. Life is worth giving and to give life is to be ready to die because to be a mother and bringing life into the world is about giving your own life, surrendering and devoting yourself to something bigger then yourself: to life itself.

On the day of the dead, on the 2nd November 2024, I gave birth to my baby daughter Aletheya Sophia Deborah Karalina Zahara Zhenxing Barbier Pollock at home. With the support of many women by my side in the pregnancy, in the birthing, in the first months of life & today. I can stand strong as a woman, as mother, as an artist, as a spiritual warrior.

Women need other women to awaken each other powers and help heal one another.

Performance / ritual text:

Motherhood is such a gift of your life and of yourself physically. From the moment you are pregnant, your child takes your life force energy to form themselves. Your body and your life no longer belongs to you anymore, you coexist with this other being. When you breath you breath for two.

Then comes the rite of passage, the birthing ritual: an expulsion of the baby's body out of your body, birthing a new life is a dangerous violent process. The first trauma is the trauma of birth. The first seperation is the seperation from the womb. A rite of passage into womanhood where so many woman before us risked losing their own life to birth a new life into the world.

Birth and death are our kingdom.

You have to be ready to die to become a mother because to be a mother and bringing life into the world is about giving your own life, surrendering and devoting yourself to something bigger then yourself: to life itself.

The sleepless night, the pain, the bleeding, the tears, the breastfeeding.

The attention, the love you give, you give even when you feel you don't have anything left to give .

And you keep giving. And that little body that grows can just take and take and it needs to take. It needs to be nourished physically, emotionally, mentally. It needs your attention to grow, so it screams, so it laughs. It needs to be seen, to grow.

And so motherhood is a gift of yourself.

As there is no self, it is a deep spiritual practice.

And at times, motherhood enters in deep conflict with the creative pulse, the creative energy. Because sometimes that creative energy demands your attention as it becomes your master. And there is a tension field between two masters, your child and your creativity.

And who will you obey?

And in that, you're torn , your left torn to pieces between your two masters.

And you disappear.

What do you want?

What do you want to give your life to?

I have nothing left to give.

My breasts are dry.

My wound is dry .

I only have my blood dripping .

Who will nourish the mothers?

Who will nourish the mothers?

When the mothers are starving for care. Who will listen to their scream.

Who will listen to their cry, who will cradle them the way they cradle their screaming baby when it's looking to find sleep?

isolated mothers

isolated mothers

in this time of war and crisis to have a child as a political act.

Isolated mothers ,

the bringers of life

to have a child today in this climate of war and climate crisis is a political act.

It's an act of faith.

It's an act of hope.

It's an act to bring life facing death. To bring love and joy in the moment of despair and pain.

It is to say that life is worth living, and life is worth giving.

Even in the greatest darkness, there is light because we are perfect whole and complete. This moment is perfect, whole and complete. Nothing missing.

Motherhood is to embrace it all, to embrace the anger, the scream, the joy, the laughter, the tears, the dirty diapers, the vomit , the sweat, the reflux, the boredom.

It is to embrace with love all of that pain.

But who will embrace the mothers?

Who will embrace the silence scream of the mothers?

When their overwhelm with pain to see the world so full of violence, to see a world where their children can't be safe.

Who will embrace the mothers?

When their bodies are giving up, crashing on them.

Who will support their tired body? their sleepless night, where everyone else is sleeping. The mothers stays awake, staring at the ceiling , lost in her thoughts.

Who will sing a lullaby to the mothers, who can't feed their children in the time of war?

Who will wipe the tears of the mothers?

The mothers who are in so much pain because they feel so unseen, because they disappear in the mundane task of raising children.

Who will embrace the mothers?

Mothers who sacrifice their calling and their passion, their creativity, their career, to bring the next generation.

Mothers who unseen and isolated can be filled with resentment and rage .

You have not seen the rage and the anger of mother.

You have not seen the violence and the destruction of mother.

Mothers. Scream in your dream to tell you to stop and respect the life they have given you.

Because we grew your body in our body, we grew your bones, your brains, your lungs, your legs, you sex, your heart, your eyes, your teeth, your hair, Your fingers, your veins, your skin, your kidney, the nails, your muscles, your guts, your intestine. Take care of yourself because I grew your body in my body and gave you life .

So may you Care for it.

You must, revere it.

Mothers cries when they see ravages of wars, the temples they grew in their bellies torn by bombs. Hear their grief.

Life is sacred. Mother say.

"Mothers are the source of life."

You are nothing without mothers.

So bow to the unconditional love of motherhood because only motherly love can heal the immensity of the pain in the world.

Hear, the mother's scream, and their pain and their rage for their dying children. Hear their grief.

Look at the love you receive, and what have you done with it?

It might have been imperfect love, but it was love nevertheless

Mothers, bithers of life. And to give life. Is to be God like.

Performance by Sylvie Barbier and Aletheya Barbier Pollock
Art Direction and concept by Sylvie Barbier
Photograph taken by Yoichi Sato
Make up and hair by Jill Bouma